Another Swollen Lymph Node

La Jolla Tidal Pools

I discovered another swollen lymph node - a new one - on the right side under my chin. I want to cry. It's so discouraging. The cancer is spreading. I knew it was spreading, but slowly - I thought it was going to be slower. I did not expect to find a hard new lump where there was nothing previously. 

I am already doing the diet and exercise routines. The only things I can think to do that could be helpful in minimizing the spread...

• rinse off after swimming - maybe the pool chemicals drying on my skin is getting absorbed, maybe it will help my immune system if I rinse off
• soak in jacuzzi - maybe the heat will help
• reduce coffee - I was drinking 3-4 cups of weak coffee throughout the day, I'll cut that to 2 max
• sleep more - maybe naps will help
• eat cleaner - be more strict about Organic and Non GMO groceries, the less poison that enters my body the better
• reduce sweets - okay, but life isn't worth living without any sweets! 

I am already taking supplements recommended for anti-inflammatory, immune-boosting...

• Seed probiotic - most probiotics die in stomach acid, this capsule is designed to survive and get the healthy bacteria delivered to the intestines where it helps gut health, which helps everything
• B complex - helps the nervous system do its job - helps everything
• Calcium/Magnesium/Zinc/D3 - bone strength, sleep better, immunity boost
• Bromelain - pineapple extract - anti-inflammatory
• Cranberry extract - helps kidney function - helps everything
• Glutathione - believed to help eliminate the toxin glyphosate, which has gotten into the food chain through the use of weed killers and pesticides on crops
• Turmeric/Ginger - anti-inflammatory
• Iron - I am currently a little anemic
• Iodine - I do not eat salt, so to make sure I get some iodine, I take it twice a week

My diet is very nutritious. I routinely eat yogurt, fresh fruits and veggies, whole grain bread, nuts, seeds, fish and occasional chicken or beef. 

I do not fear death. I fear pain. What happens when the swollen lymph nodes become painful? How will I deal with chronic pain? I have a dear friend who has coped with chronic back pack for many years and she uses cannabis, nothing else. Maybe I can do that. Maybe I can tolerate it with only cannabis. I already use a few milligrams daily of edible cannabis for anxiety management and to help me sleep. 

I won't do chemo. I won't do opioids. 

Now I just have to focus on the present and be here now. I am not currently in pain. I am thankful. 

💖